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Episode 1: The Wedding
Jessica's sister Trisha and her son Joshua have been dating for years, but just now decided to tie the knot. The whole Lindholm family goes to their wedding.
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Episode 2: Ābørtīôńïšm
Jessica enlists the help of her lead biologist (Shïtt Aboob) to figure out the calculations necessary to turn her aborted fetuses into nutrients for her skin.
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Episode 3: Fetus Juice!
Jessica's new Abortio Bot turns all of her aborted fetuses into nutrients for her skin. Jessica injects herself with the fetus fluid and instantly looks 10 years younger.
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Episode 4: Granny in a Tube Top
Jessica's babushka who is still living in their castle decides to go on a SHEIN shopping spree. She shows up to a daytime gala hosted by Jessica in tube tops from SHEIN.
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Episode 5: Birth of Bartholomew
Zoe and Chase have their baby and name it Bartholomew. Unfortunately, due to Zoe drinking so much alcohol during her pregnancy, Bartholomew is born with the worst case of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome ever seen.
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Episode 6: Not Another Incest Baby
Dixie and Gaylord (who is Dixie's Uncle) announce their pregnancy. The Lindholm family is hesitant to have another insest baby after Joshua and Trisha's disaster tha is Shitstein Lindholm.
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Episode 7: California (fat) Rolls
Jessica is still super upset about Charli being fat. So Jessica sends Charli off to a Millenial fat camp in California. Charli loses 20 pounds (making Charli 40 pounds now) Jessica is happy with the results and is now only insulting Charli 22 times a day.
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Episode 8: The Second Engagement
Dixie and Gaylord are having a kid, but they aren't married. Jessica is putting a lot of pressure on Gaylord to propose to her daughter Dixie. Gaylord proposes to Dixie in a Denny's Parking lot.
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Episode 9: Testicle is Born
Dixie (after being pregnant for 2 months) goes into labor. They rush to the hospital but cannot make it in time. Coincidentally, their new child, testicle, is born in a Denny's parking lot.
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Episode 10: Placenta Eating
Jessica hears about her friend Kim Kardashian and how she ate her placenta after she gave birth, Jessica isn’t pregnant though and steals Dixie's placenta to eat.
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Episode 11: Jessica's Fabulous Adventure
Jessica stumbles across a listing for a retro 60s car and buys it. She decides to have it wrapped in sparkly pink glitter. The glitter binds everyone else on the road and ends up killing 22 people. Jessica continues driving it all across the Swedish state of Russia. Then when she gets to Novosibirsk she gambles $2,000,000 at a 2 star casino and looses all the money.